Always
BE KIND
To Yourself
I have a very simple view of counselling – it is first and foremost about just two human beings being together and in a deep contact with each other. Two equals seeking an understanding of what is going on for you at this moment in your life. At your pace. Respectfully. With kindness and humility.
In the rest of this web site you will find more about my way of working, training and ways of working in counselling too if that helps you. Here though, let us simply recognise you and I are first of all simply ‘human’ - be reassured that if you feel what you need most of all in therapy is a fellow human being to sit with you in your difficult times or distress, to hear you and be alongside you without judgement, I will do this with you.
​Always be kind to yourself.
Without self-compassion it is hard to make sense of Self and life.
Gently remember we are shaped and impacted by all of our experiences in life, the accumulation of that load we carry, those we are aware of and unaware of yet somehow ‘feel’ - and these more difficult even hidden ones can simply catch up with us.
All of our accumulated life experiences in utero and from birth, toddlerhood, parenting, early school, later school, teachers, siblings, role models (including the absence of these), key relationships, work experiences and colleagues, difficult managers, loss of employment and friends, ill health, all of our wider life losses/ bereavements and adjustments, traumas, loss of our sense of Self, our Self Worth, confidence, the masks we wear to avoid vulnerability, the things we believe we cannot say as we walk on egg shells, hidden beliefs and responses (I ‘should/ ought /must’), ‘I am not loveable, I am a failure’, drive for perfectionism that blocks out 'being' and many more bend and buckle us till we become drained or flooded.
All therapy is at some level this conflict that ‘who I really am is not the person on show’. In this society we tend to ruminate in our heads – but the truth is our body, soul and heart feels this too. You are reading this because your instinct knows you perhaps need to do something differently in life. If you want that, I can help you.
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Carl Rogers (a founder of the Person-centred tradition) said “When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified; or when he/she is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called for. This gentle and sensitive companionship … provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is .. the most precious gift one can give to another”.
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I live and work in Horsham, West Sussex and currently offer video and telephone counselling. I am looking to do so also face to face in a short time. I would consider home visits too where physical health needs arise.
